Happy Chinese New Year! 新年快乐! This year is the Water Rabbit year according to the Chinese zodiac. In many horoscopes, those born in rabbit years are described as affectionate, shy, modest and conflict-avoidant. Growing up, I always thought the rabbit got the short end of the stick. Why couldn’t the Chinese be like the Vietnamese or Malays and choose a cooler animal as the fourth creature in the zodiac? And I know horoscopes are bogus but why is the rabbit description so lame?
Today I want to change that. There are dozens of famous rabbits from pop culture. I want to rate rabbits from my childhood and beyond based on their fighting ability to see if they really are as weak and helpless as the horoscopes suggest.
Energizer Bunny
This lagomorph is easily recognizable from its pink fur and cool guy sunglasses. Known for its infinite stamina, the Energizer Bunny could easily tire out any opponent. Having fought against Darth Vader, the Energizer Bunny has experience against powerful foes. Also, war drums are popular instruments to intimidate enemies. However, with only drum mallets for weapons, it doesn’t have much offensive potential. The open batteries on its legs and back could also be exploited as weak spots. 2/5
Judy Hopps from Zootopia
As the first rabbit police officer, Judy Hopps clearly would make a good fighter. She has the skills and tenacity to take on opponents several times her size. Her persistence to achieve her dream of being a police officer are indicative of her toughness. 4/5
Trix Rabbit
This guy is just a sucker for fruity flavours. The Trix Rabbit’s only real strength is his ability to dress up and fool anybody with his costume. Aside from his expert camouflage, I guess he has long arms? 1/5
Killer Bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
This rabid rabbit is the ultimate killing machine. Its diminutive size and appearance as a generic, harmless bunny mean it’s frequently underestimated. This rabbit clearly knows how to quickly and efficiently kill its opponents by the way it attacks the jugular. It murdered three knights in mere seconds. As Tim the Enchanter said, “That’s no ordinary rabbit; that’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!” 5/5
Thumper from Bambi
Did you know that rabbits stamp their feet in real life? They do it when they’re scared. So really, Thumper is just a normal rabbit. I suppose he’s more courageous than his kin but a huge weakness is that Thumper will be smitten to paralysis upon seeing a pretty bunny friend. 1/5
Were-Rabbit from Wallace and Gromit
Although the were-rabbit is Wallace, it deserves its own entry on this list. This midnight monster absolutely ravaged the town. Not only is the were-rabbit immensely strong, but extremely fast – its burrowing can keep up with a driving car. I can’t think of any weaknesses except for the fact that the were-rabbit is solely driven by its appetite for vegetables. 5/5
Lola Bunny from Space Jam
Lola Bunny is the iconic female bunny and Bugs’s love interest in Space Jam. She’s tough and athletic which are good traits to have as a fighter. Plus, if things don’t go her way, she can use her flirting to stun her opponents. But basketball isn’t fighting – 3/5